Anxiety is one of the most common human experiences, but we know it can look different at seven, seventeen, forty-seven or seventy-seven. Understanding how it shows up at each stage can help you recognise it in yourself, or someone you love, and know when support might make a difference.
Children: when worry shows up as a tummy ache
Young children rarely say "I feel anxious." Instead, anxiety tends to speak through their bodies and behaviour. A child who is worried may complain of stomach aches or headaches before school, cling to a parent at drop-off, melt down over small changes, or have trouble falling asleep.
Some of the common signs parents notice:
Frequent "what if" questions and a need for constant reassurance
Avoiding birthday parties, sleepovers, school camps or speaking up in class
Strong fears of separation, the dark, dogs, storms or being sick
Perfectionism, or tears over mistakes and homework
Irritability, anger or tantrums that seem out of proportion
Some worry is a normal part of growing up. It becomes worth getting support when it is stopping a child from doing things they would otherwise enjoy, or when it is taking a toll on the whole family.
Therapy for children is gentle, practical and usually involves parents. Through play, drawing, storytelling and simple skills, children learn to name their feelings, calm their bodies and take small, brave steps towards the things they fear. Parents learn how to support their child without accidentally feeding the worry, for example by always rescuing them from difficult situations.
Teenagers: the pressure to get it all right
Adolescence brings a perfect storm for anxiety: exams, friendships, social media, identity, body changes and growing independence, all while the brain is still developing. Teen anxiety is easy to miss because it often looks like something else.
Parents and carers may notice:
Irritability, snapping, or withdrawing to their room
Avoiding school, refusing to go, or frequent absences
Sleep changes, tiredness, headaches or stomach problems
Procrastination that is really fear of failing
Constant comparison with peers, or intense worry about what others think
Panic attacks: a racing heart, breathlessness, dizziness and a sense that something terrible is about to happen
What can help at home is staying calm, listening before problem-solving, and avoiding the urge to say "just relax." Many teens find it easier to talk side by side, in the car or on a walk, than face to face.
Therapy gives teenagers a private, non-judgemental space of their own. They learn to recognise anxious thinking, understand what panic is (and that it passes), and gradually face avoided situations at a pace they help set. Young people tend to do best when they feel in control of the process, and they usually appreciate being treated as the expert on their own life.
Adults: carrying the load
For many adults, anxiety grows quietly alongside responsibility. Work demands, financial pressure, relationships, caring for children or ageing parents, and the sense of never doing enough can leave the mind in a constant state of alert.
Adult anxiety can look like:
Racing thoughts, "what if" spirals and difficulty switching off
Muscle tension, jaw clenching, headaches, digestive problems or a pounding heart
Trouble sleeping, or waking at 3am with the mind already running
Overworking, people-pleasing or needing everything to be under control
Avoiding phone calls, meetings, driving, crowds or social events
Sudden panic that seems to come from nowhere
Many adults live with anxiety for years before reaching out, often because they have learned to function well on the outside. They may be the capable one at work and at home, while feeling exhausted and on edge inside. Others turn to alcohol, constant busyness or scrolling to cope, which tends to bring short-term relief and long-term cost.
Perinatal anxiety deserves a special mention. Many new and expecting parents experience intense worry, intrusive thoughts or fear for their baby's safety. It is common, it is treatable, and it is nothing to be ashamed of.
Therapy for adults focuses on understanding how your own anxiety works, what triggers it, what keeps it going, and building a toolkit that fits your life. Most people find that things shift when they stop fighting anxiety and start responding to it differently.
Older adults: anxiety that is too often dismissed
Anxiety is common in later life, yet it is frequently overlooked. Older adults may not use the word "anxious" at all, and it is easy for family, and even health professionals, to put worry down to "just getting older." It isn't. Anxiety at any age deserves attention.
Common sources of worry in later life include health changes, fear of falling, loss of a partner or friends, retirement, money, loss of independence, and concern about being a burden. Some people develop anxiety for the first time in their later years, while others have carried it for decades.
It can show up as:
Persistent worry about health, family or finances
Restlessness, irritability, poor concentration or trouble sleeping
Physical symptoms such as palpitations, dizziness, or a tight chest
Avoiding going out, driving or being alone, sometimes after a fall or a health scare
Seeking frequent reassurance from loved ones or doctors
Because anxiety can mimic or overlap with physical conditions, it is always worth having a GP check in to rule out medical causes and review medications. Anxiety and low mood also often appear together in later life.
Therapy works well for older adults, and many find it a relief to finally talk things through. Approaches are adapted to suit each person's pace, interests and health, and may include relaxation skills, gradually rebuilding confidence in avoided activities, and working through grief and life transitions. Involving family and carers, where the person wants this, can make a real difference.
How therapy helps
Anxiety is one of the most treatable mental health conditions. The goal of therapy is not to remove anxiety altogether, because some anxiety is useful and normal. It is to help you feel less ruled by it.
A psychologist will tailor treatment to your age, your history and what matters to you. Approaches with strong research support include:
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT): helps you notice unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours that keep anxiety going, and try out new ways of responding.
Graded exposure: involves gradually and safely facing feared situations, so that your brain learns they are manageable. You set the pace, and you never go it alone.
Acceptance and mindfulness-based approaches: teach you to make room for uncomfortable thoughts and feelings while still moving towards what you value.
Skills for the body: such as slow breathing, muscle relaxation and grounding, which help settle the physical side of anxiety.
Family and parent-based support: particularly valuable for children and teens, so that the whole household works together.
Some people notice a difference within weeks, though everyone's pace is different. Therapy is also a place to be heard. Simply having someone take your worries seriously, without judgement, is often the first step in feeling better.
Therapy doesn't replace medication for those who need it, and the two can work well together. If you are considering medication, your GP or psychiatrist is the right person to talk to, and your psychologist can work alongside them.
Taking the first step
Reaching out is often the hardest part. If anxiety is getting in the way of sleep, school, work, relationships or enjoying life, that is reason enough to book an appointment. You don't need to be in crisis, and you don't need to have it all figured out.
At a first appointment, your psychologist will invite you to share what has been going on, how long it has been happening, and what you would like to be different. You won't be pushed to talk about anything you aren't ready for. Together you will agree on a plan. Parents and carers are welcome to be involved in appointments for children and teens.
You may be eligible for Medicare rebates through a GP Mental Health Treatment Plan, so it is worth asking your GP about this first.
